‘The
hour before the dawn is the darkest’…. Does it always have to be true?...
wondered Ryi. So many events were happening all around her and in so short a
time that she was feeling exhausted at the very thought of it. She traced back
her life a year ago. It was so peaceful, no fear of the impending future and
regret of the days gone by, just enjoying the present…. She was way too happy
for an average person. She had bagged the best job in campus, had a great group
of friends and a steady boyfriend for a year.
Vikram
was her dream man, just as crazy as she was, he was always game for every weird
idea that Ryi ever had. He was not typically handsome but had a mind-blowing
personality. He was charismatic enough to have persuaded the most number of
sponsors for their annual fest and also the prestigious job as a Sales intern
in a reputed company. They were just perfect for each other. Both were from
good families, had strong careers, good jobs and a zeal to live life
differently and on their own terms.
It
was then that the bombshell struck, destroying the perfect balance of Ryi’s
life. Although it was not raining that night, the atmosphere everywhere was
grim and suddenly serious…everything had stopped momentarily, and it was then
that she received that fateful call from her mother.
‘Ryi… come home soon, your father is
very ill…. Yesterday night he complained of chest pain and we have admitted him
at the G.D Hospital. I thought he would recover but the doctors are saying he
is not getting any better…. I am unable to understand what to do…’ trailed her
mother’s voice, followed by loud sobs. Ryi reacted as if struck by a thunder.
What? Was she hearing right? How could it possibly happen? It was only
yesterday morning when she had talked to her father and he seemed perfectly
well to her. What could have happened to make him so ill….she removed the
receiver from her ear and checked her breath. She had a small party going on in
her room….and she worried the drink was making her hallucinate things. She
shook her head as if to her thought process and enquired ‘Hello? Are you sure
there is no mistake. I am Ryi Sen from the 2010 batch and my parents are….’
Before she could finish her introduction, the voice on the phone shrieked
‘Ryi….this is me... your mother, Papa is very ill, beta…please come soon.’ This
time her mother’s voice jolted her to her senses. Her father was ill and she
had to go home. Feeling helpless she replied ‘Ma…what happened? I’m coming
tomorrow by the first train…please hold on till then’ saying so she replaced
the receiver. Slowly she let her mind process the information. She had to pack
and rush home.
‘Ryi…
make it fast… are you planning to take the whole day to get ready…the wedding
is today Darling… you have a deadline to adhere to…’ teased Payal, Ryi’s office
colleague. Right she was, Ryi had a routine to adhere to. These memories could
be traced back later too. After marriage she would have all the time in her
life to think about these things. Moreover these things were in the past. The
present should be much more pleasing than the past. But is it at all pleasing?
This question had disturbed her for long but she did not find an appropriate answer
to it. She had stopped planning things and expecting good things to happen. She
was too wary of the concept of getting married a good three-four years before
she had actually planned the event. Wasn’t marriage supposed to change
everything in a girl’s life? Could she ever be the same person after marriage?
And what about her career…. It will stay certainly but will she be able to
devote just as much time to it? As has become the rule in the past year,
subconsciously she slipped into the past again.
All good things stopped happening to
her when she came home last summer to a cold house, where all was lost. Her
father had been rendered immobile by the life threatening heart attack that he
suffered. His life was spared but he was sentenced to a life imprisonment in
bed. Ryi could not bear the sight. She had never seen her mother as much as cry
and now she sat wailing beside her father’s bed for most of the time. Ryi had
always led a protected life, she could not imagine what all was expected of her
now. But being responsible by nature, she slipped into the role of the guardian
of the house soon. Her new company understood enough to let her have a transfer
in her home town, so that she could be near home. Although she had to accept a
cut in salary but these things had stopped worrying her. She had larger issues now;
issues that she never knew existed!
Almost as soon as her father started
showing signs of improvement, the relatives started pouring in their house as
unexpected torrents of rain in a winter evening. They coaxed, advised, ordered
and pleaded in various ways to have Ryi married off as soon as possible and
they all had wonderful grooms in store.
‘Are these people for real? As it is
I’m worried about Papa and now you want me to get married? That too… because
your relatives think so…?’ fumed Ryi at her mother. Although her mother had a
point but it was too painful to imagine herself as another reason of worry for
her parents. She was their guardian, was she not? Then how could her marriage
be of any help whatsoever? But her mother knew better and she kept pleading
with her. Unable to put her off any longer Ryi told her about Vikram and
promised to bring him home to meet her. Promises are made to be broken and this
one certainly qualified in that category.
‘Marriage? Now? Are you crazy? I mean…
of course I love you but what about our plans….remember we wanted to go for
on-site opportunities then reach a salary of at least 1 lakh per month and then
get married. We both made these plans and you can’t back off now….? Please Ryi
think of our future together…’ reasoned Vikram, her Punjabi boyfriend of almost
one and a half years. He was right, they had made these plans but things have
changed. Everything had changed, life was different now.
‘Please Vikram, understand that a lot
of things have changed. If you don’t get married to me now, I will have to get
into a stupid arranged marriage…. I don’t want to ruin my life. Our plans will
stay the same just that we will marry earlier…’ countered Ryi. What a fix….what
a situation they had gotten themselves into….she knew that Vikram was right and
it hurt her ego badly to pressurize him on this issue. Even she was not ready
for marriage but she was not the only one making decisions now. She had a sick
father and a nervous mother at home, who had all their remaining hopes pinned
on her.
She had gone home accepting defeat and
also her fate. She asked her mother to look for grooms. The search started and
she barely managed to survive three sessions of bride-display, when her patience
snapped. Were these guys for real? It was as if they were buying vegetables in
a market. They wanted it all: a pretty wife, who was convent educated, had a
good job, knew house-work, will stay with his unlimited relatives in the same
house and bear him wonderful children! ‘Oh God…irritating!’ exclaimed Ryi and
left in the middle of such a display session, wherein the groom’s mother had
crossed all levels of expectation. She was almost mentally ready to stay single
forever when….
‘Ryi….
are you planning to trip and fall on the stairs on your marriage day?’ shouted
her mother at a lost Ryi. Ryi was so lost in her thoughts that she had not
noticed that she had almost reached the beginning of the stairs. She was
unacquainted to this place. It was a marriage hall taken on rent for the event
of her marriage; as a result she couldn’t judge the area and placement of the
stairs. On the floor below she could see the decked up area being made ready by
her cousins and friends. It was a sight to behold; the flower decoration was
her mother’s idea. Although skeptical in the beginning, Ryi was quiet liking
the look now. She spotted her father sitting propped against pillows on a
single sofa. Although unable to display any movement physically he was
surprisingly calm and satisfied, almost happy. His eyes gave Ryi the feeling
that she was doing the right thing and he was beside her even in his silence. Amidst
all this, the groom had arrived. Her friends and cousins streamed past her to
greet the groom.
‘Go
inside the room Ryi, we will call you when the rituals will begin. You are the
bride. You can’t keep standing at the head of the stairs like this….’ exclaimed
her aunt almost scolding. Her aunt was right, what was she thinking. The least
she wanted was to shock her future-in-laws. She shuffled inside only to be
called within minutes to carry out the marriage rituals. Heavily veiled she could
not see her groom. There were people everywhere: friends, relatives, friends of
relatives and some strangers who were relatives too. She tried hard to see through
so many faces, how her groom looked in all his marriage finery. It was not an
easy thing to do though.
Finally
they came face to face to look into each other’s eyes and exchange garlands. A
pair of mascara-lined eyes met a stern gaze from light-brown eyes. His eyes…
Vikram’s eyes made Ryi forget all her fears. The apprehensions evaporated
bringing a shy smile to her lips. Even the last month, seemed distant now, when
she was actually getting prepared to marry a total stranger; Vikram came back
in her life almost as a blessing and took hold. After that everything happened
swiftly. His parents opposed to a Bengali-Punjabi marriage, he persuaded them
with ways and means no one knew existed. Apparently after their discussion
about marriage, Vikram had realized that all his plans had a meaning when they
were to be executed along with Ryi and not alone. That is what he told Rye, ‘It
was not love….it was just a feeling of emptiness that I feel without you’. Men
will be men and Vikram too kept the mystery about his emotions alive. Mystery
or not he was clearly in love and couldn’t let her go.
In
a quick movement Vikram jerked her towards him, shaking her out of her thoughts
and whispered in her ears: ‘It’s alright….Don’t look so tensed….go for it…this
is my first time too….’ Shouts from all around separated them; Ryi smiled at
his remark and flung the garland across his neck.
